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Meta
Sprinting Robot runs to the beat of its own dastardly internal fiber-optic timing mechanism
Posted by Tim Reese on Saturday, April 18th, 2026 at 4:20 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoMDadPQLKA
More like Johnny 50-Yard Dash. Just try explaining to this soulless hunk of metal bearing down on you at 25 mph with a taser-baton that you thought those grapes you tested in the produce aisle were free of charge. Wake up sheeple!!!!
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Sultans of Swing (feat. Tico the Parrot)
Posted by Tim Reese on Saturday, May 18th, 2024 at 12:11 am
Tico is a better musician than most humans! On this Mark Knopfler classic, Tico demonstrates his uncanny understanding of chord progression and feel for harmony…. and of course that silver-beaked voice is a beaut.
Keep on Rockin’ Tico!
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NOPE
Posted by Tim Reese on Thursday, April 18th, 2024 at 5:22 pm
That’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.
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Utterance Robot Too Sexy For Its Own Good
Posted by Tim Reese on Saturday, July 29th, 2023 at 8:36 am
The scientists at Kagawa University learned the hard way that it’s hard for people to understand what your speech robot is saying when its inner workings are perpetually gummed up with researcher jizz
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DANGER ZONE!!
Posted by Tim Reese on Sunday, March 26th, 2023 at 9:05 pm
Doing Kenny Loggins proud at 6.3 G’s
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Democracy Manifest!
Posted by Tim Reese on Tuesday, March 21st, 2023 at 10:50 am
Is it a crime to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal???
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Ram Jam – Black Betty (Ambalamb)
Posted by Tim Reese on Tuesday, March 8th, 2022 at 12:08 pm
Somebody call the ambalamb!
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Boy vs. Rooster
Posted by Tim Reese on Friday, February 8th, 2019 at 6:44 pm
Who won? You decide.
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Loca, “The Pug That Couldn’t Run”
Posted by Tim Reese on Saturday, June 6th, 2015 at 5:15 pm
Every dog’s a song in their heart:
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Flying Robot prototype spells the end of the Jet Age
Posted by Tim Reese on Saturday, January 24th, 2015 at 12:49 pm
Witness in horror, fellow humans, this terrifying new prototype for a flying bat-like robot:
Not content with the hordes of land-roaming death machines already developed, you Replicant-enabling maniacs?!?! Must we forfeit too our cerulean skies to these metal machinations of malice?!?!?! Damn you! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!
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Double Squirrel Assault Course
Posted by Tim Reese on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014 at 8:26 am
I can’t wait for retirement, where building a squirrel slalom isn’t frowned upon.
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Chicken Nugger
Posted by Tim Reese on Sunday, May 11th, 2014 at 4:47 pm
O, the pathos:
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Robot proliferation accelerates as Japanese unveil SCHAFT
Posted by Tim Reese on Monday, December 23rd, 2013 at 10:39 am
A Japanese-developed robot named SCHAFT recently won a DARPA-sponsored contest testing robot rescue abilities:
Hogwash! Jump to 1:25 for a glimpse into SCHAFT’s fantasy of walking peacefully through a lush green field in a human-less future.
STOP THIS MADNESS!!!
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NASA & DARPA in spirited race to end all Humanity
Posted by Tim Reese on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013 at 8:09 pm
NASA this week unveiled its new Valkyrie robot, a prototype humanoid the space agency hopes will one day lay the foundation for the Human colonization of Mars:
The Valkyrie prototype (seen in the above video gripping a steering wheel with trachea-crushing force) faces stiff competition from DARPA’s new Atlas robot:
The Atlas model succeeds last year’s horrifying PETMAN design, incorporating murderous new abilities such as shimmying assassin-style between two walls, climbing steep ledges, and presumably, remorseless genocide.
Fuck you science!
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“Petman” robot the next link in Skynet chain
Posted by Tim Reese on Sunday, April 7th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
As part of our ongoing series on terrifying robot overlords, enjoy this footage of the “Petman” prototype.
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